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Convoluted Metaphors

Making sense of a senseless world.

Blogging now and then.

Hello all

So it’s been over a year since I started this blog and I haven’t been as diligent as I intended to be. I started blogging to improve my writing as this is something I enjoy doing and might even go as far as to say it’s a potential career move for me, but I won’t get ahead of myself just yet!

 Last year I was doing a regular weekly piece on Meatless Mondays due to turning vegetarian and wanting to show the word that it isn’t just carrot sticks and ‘rabbit food’.  This is something I want to start again this year but due to a change in job I’ve been a bit lax in posting anything lately, now I’m settled in I need to give myself a kick up the bum and get my brain in gear.

I have many interests and find I bore regular people with my passionate tirades, so I would love to reach out to some like minded people with similar interests, or even just people with similar levels of passion for their hobbies. Nothing is more enjoyable than reading/listening to a subject that someone clearly cares about, so please feel free to approach me on anything I’ve written about or anything you’ve written about that you feel proud of! Even if you just want a good old political debate, I’m good at those!

This year I want to write more about social issues, feminism, politics and my usual, piercings, animals and books. If you’ve had a look at my most recent post I am currently participating in a reading challenge, so expect to see the results of that!

Meow for now.

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New year, new book challenge.

Happy new year everyone, although you are all still the same people you were 9 days ago, just with different goals. It’s funny how the new year does that to us, pushes everyone into a frenzy of making new commitments or promises to themselves. I am not excluding myself from this, last year I made a very unrealistic goal of trying to read 100 books, which of course I failed but I did read a lot of books that had been on my list for a long time, whether I reviewed them or not. This year I want to be kinder to myself so instead I have a challenge that I want to set myself, and invite others to join me in.

I’ve seen a few of these challenge online but this is my modified version:

2016 BOOK CHALLENGE

  • A book with a one word title.
  • A book with a front cover in your favourite colour.
  • A book based on a true story.
  • A book which was badly reviewed.
  • A book recommended by your local librarian or bookseller (don’t worry the ‘recommendation’ stickers in shops like Waterstones count for this one).
  • A book that was banned.
  • A book published the year you were born.
  • A book that you started but never finished.
  • A book you should have read in school/uni/college.
  • A book chosen for you by someone else, eg partner, sibling, child, friend.
  • A book that you’ve been planning to read.
  • A book from your childhood.
  • A book with a female protagonist.
  • A book set the in future.
  • A book by an author with the same initials as you.
  • A book you can finish in a day.
  • A book with a number in the title.
  • A book that has been translated.
  • A book you own but have never read.
  • A book about an animal.
  • A Pulitzer Prize winning book.
  • A book with a colour in the title.
  • A book that became a film.
  • A book about magic.
  • A non-fiction book.
  • A book you’ve read before.
  • A book published this year.

So this is my 26 book challenge for 2016, I hope you will all join me as I review each one as I make my way through the list. Some books might come under two of the categories and if you are a slow reader, feel free to tick more than one off. If you feel up to it keep going and fill all 26!

If you get stuck, feel free to contact me, and please feel free to recommend any books to me! I love discovering new gems! There are so many books and not enough time to find them all!

Please don’t feel bad if you don’t complete this challenge or any of your other new years resolutions, although I don’t believe in a new start every year I do believe that making the effort counts.

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Hope to see you all on the other side!

Periods. The good, the bad and the bloody.

Schools and society only teach you so much about this perfectly natural monthly event. If you are born with a uterus(including a womb and vagina), unfortunately you will experience periods, not to mention all the interesting side effects. Below I have listed a bunch of them, and many we do not often get the chance to discuss. For some reason talking about periods is seen as a taboo, but it’s time to put an end to this, there have been numerous articles challenging this taboo. It’s time for uterus holders to stand up and say “Yes I have a period, and yes these are parts of my experience. It’s not all good, it’s not all bad, but it is bloody”.

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The products:

  •  Using pads during the night can get very messy if you move a lot in your sleep (like I do), expect to wake up with blood creeping towards every edge and having bloody creases.
  •  You will know immediately if you have put your tampon in incorrectly.
  • Pulling a tampon out sometimes feel like the most impossible task, it just doesn’t want to leave.
  • Every so often you will catch yourself when inserting a tampon with an applicator. Skin and hair.
  • Sanitary products are EXPENSIVE. Expect to pay out loads in your life time, unless you invest in a menstrual cup.
  • Tissue does not make a great emergency pad but desperate times equal desperate measures.
  • Some pads will feel like you are wearing a nappy and you will worry that everyone can see it.
  • Sneaking to the toilets with a pad or tampon up your sleeve will feel like the walk of shame, trying not to rustle the packet in case you ‘give the game away’.
  • Pulling out a tampon at the end of your period will feel dry as a desert.
  • All the way through your period, removing your tampon will give you the urge to use the toilet. Badly.

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Your body:

  • RANDOM BUTT PAIN. Yes there is a name for that extreme shooting pain that you get through your bum during your period, making you jump out of your seat and hold your cheeks until the pain goes away.
  • If you come on during the day it will feel like your uterus has spat at you for forgetting about it.
  • Sensitive nipples. Everything will feel like sandpaper!
  • If you suffer with painful cramps, there are never enough painkillers to fully dull the pain without OD’ing.
  • Hot? Cold? Who knows? Hot flushes are a nightmare, especially in summer.
  • You have never been more aware of your labia than when you are on your period. Hello pulsing.
  • You will bloat in places you didn’t realise you could…
  • …and as a result nothing will fit like it did the week before.
  • Periods are NOTHING like the sanitary product adverts, it is not blue, you will not be able to dance the night away and least of all will you forget.
  • It won’t always be the same colour. Don’t expect to see just red.
  • Just because there’s no blood, doesn’t mean it’s over.
  • Clumps of stuff are terrifying but nothing to worry about (do see your doctor if they seem excessive)
  • You will dread every time you have to poop.
  • Sex on your period is possible, but involves a few extra stages to get prepared and to clean up.

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The feels:

  • Not everyone gets emotional on their period, but if you do, you will have absolutely no control over your mood. One minute laughing, the next uncontrollable anger because the remote fell off the sofa.
  • Suddenly feeling wet as if you’re turned on and not realising your period just started.
  • Worrying about the smell. Yes it is distinctive, and can be very strong at the height of your flow but you are(usually) the only one getting close enough to smell it.
  • Wondering whether you are on your period or actually crumbling from the inside.
  • Being paranoid that everyone knows you are on your period.
  • It will feel like the longest 7 days(more or less depending on the individual) of your life but the rest of the month will seem to fly by.
  • Going to the toilet at work or school and forgetting your sanitary products. Mild annoyance or bane of your existence.
  • Even worse, forgetting to bring any products with you at all and having to ask around before resorting to tissue.
  • Feeling illogically embarrassed when you have to tell someone you’re on your period.
  • Mood swings will continue even once your period is over, just ride through them.
  • Getting angry when people assume you’re on your period because you’re angry and you actually are.
  • The feeling of relief when you come on. You’ve successfully completed another month without getting pregnant. Even if you haven’t engaged in any sexual activity (or any that would result in conception).
  • Relief again at finally coming off your period, but dreading the next one, yet panicking if it’s late. Forever an emotional roller coaster.

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The rest:

  • Seeing blood stops bothering you, it’s just another thing to deal with.
  • You will ruin at least ONE of your favourite pairs of underwear, and many more standard pairs in the beginning.
  • White is the last colour you’ll want to wear, even if there’s no possible way you could leak.
  • Sitting on the toilet for ages to see how much will come out before you have to go pretend your uterus isn’t escaping your body.
  • Coming on randomly during the day and having to the shuffle-walk to the toilet in an attempt to ‘keep it in’.
  • Being absolutely certain you’ve come on, you can feel it, you’re sure you’ve leaked through, you’re in some sort of pain but get to the toilet and there’s no sign of anything.
  • Getting excited when you find out someone else is on their period at the same time and feeling that mutual understanding.tumblr_inline_n03b5iFsrf1s6x48b

 

 

All pictures courtesy of Period Humor.

 

Anime: It’s not just for children! My top five Netflix anime series.

Yes that is right! Anime is not just for children, any respectable adult (or otherwise) can enjoy it too and if I’m honest, there are some anime series which should just be left to us adults.

Like most things, anime is yet another art form to be appreciated by everyone, yes it has its flaws such as the unrealistic features or physics but that is part of the fun, it serves as another escape from any boring reality, just like a good book does. Anime dives us into colourful, crazy worlds that we may never imagine ourselves, such as demon death bringers with magical note pads, a world where giants have taken over and the human population is decimated or even a world where technology has advanced to allow us to actually ENTER a role playing game. These are just a few of the delights I want to talk about.

Luckily anime is now accessible to all through streaming sites such as Netflix, you can find a fun and diverse list of series’ and films to satisfy even the most serious anime fan or any newcomer to anime.

Now let us take a look at my personal top five anime series:

**POSSIBLE SPOILERS**(I’ve tried really hard not to)

Knights of Sidonia/Sidonia No Kishi: This is an absolute favourite of mine and I would actually rank it the number one show on Netflix, including all the american dramas. How can I do this knights-of-sidonia-1-1280x720show justice in mere words? It’s an action packed, sci-fi/mecha anime, post apocalyptic to boot. Humans have fled Earth after an attack from aliens called gauna, who destroyed the Earth and have been battling ever since. Humans now inhabit a ship/rock combo called Sidonia that has been developed to cater to the human species every need, while the humans have evolved to have less need. The protagonist is Nagate Tanikaze who has been living underground in Sidonia since he was a child, the reason for this is explained much later in the series. The Knights of Sidonia themselves are a group of trained guardians who battle the gauna in mechanical Gardes trying to pierce the gauna’s weak spots. One of the best bits about this series is the introduction of a third gender, the genderless who can choose their own gender as they grow up, one of humans new evolutionary tricks. For me this was something new and different from many other animes, especially those that focus very much on male and female relations. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of blush worthy, awkward moments for the characters, this is still anime! Expect the usual love triangle, plenty of fight scenes, mystery, gore, and most of all an amazing anime style.

I would genuinely rate this anime top of the list and recommend to everyone! It might not be the best anime to start off with but I’ll get to that.

Psycho Pass: Second on my list is the exciting Psycho Pass, for you crime and thriller lovers this is a perfect start out anime! It is by no means a weak or ‘soft’ anime but it works more like psycho-passany other crime series on TV so if you’re new to anime, you can slightly forget you’re watching a cartoon. This series follows Akane Tsunemori in a dystopian Japan, Akane works as an inspector for Japans Public Safety Bureau’s Crime Investigation Division (quite the mouthful), they use Enforcers and a weapon called a Dominator to help them capture their targets. The targets are people who have shown dangerous mental levels on their psycho pass, the state monitors everyones psycho pass to pre-empt any crime and treats people for their mental unease. This is a brilliant concept of treating an ‘unhealthy’ mind but combined with the suffocation of the totalitarian state. I think this is a great first anime for anyone.

Attack on Titan/Shingeki no KyojinThis is probably the longest series out of my list but it is attack-titanworth it. The story revolves around a post apocalyptic world where the human race is down to a few hundred, living behind a series of giant walls to hide from the Titans who have an insatiable appetite for humans. The story follows Eren Yaeger, adopted sister Mikasa Ackerman, and friend Armin Arlert after an attack on their home town within the outermost wall. This is a very gory anime, I will not lie, there is a lot of screaming, horror and gore, just try and stick with it! It actually gets to a point where the gore is just funny, in true anime tradition, it is over the top and ridiculous but this is a world where giant scary creatures eat humans for fun! It can be very long winded, there is a lot to explain and understand but the character development is just perfect, you see characters grow from innocence to hardened soldier and sometimes back again. To tell the truth, there was a point mid-way where I got slightly bored but this doesn’t make it any less of a good anime, there are some bits that drag on but it does keep the viewer in suspense, seeming to imitate the suspense of living in a world where you can be eaten at any moment. attack-on-titan

This list is definitely NOT for children!

Tokyo Ghoul: More gore!! Yes this is yet another anime that I would recommend viewers keep children far away from! Tokyo Ghoul is a story based in Tokyo, funnily enough, and it tokyoghoulfollows demon like creatures called ghouls who feed on humans but look like ordinary people. The story follows Ken Kaneki who encounters a ghoul unknowingly and becomes her victim…but things do not go to plan and Kaneki is forced into the secret ghoul society to help him cope. *TRYING NOT TO POST SPOILERS BUT IT’S HARD*

This is a really enjoyable anime, I can’t stress this enough, like those above it has a great storyline and characters that are captivating, most importantly: strong female characters!! That is probably what I have forgotten to mention, all of the anime I’ve listed so far has really well done, strong female characters that kick butt! Yet let me repeat: so much gore! Of course it’s animated so it’s hardly like seeing a horror film level of gore, and just like Attack on Titan, it can get a bit ridiculous but this is a typical charming occurrence within anime.

Sword Art Online/SAO: Last but not least, we have Sword Art Online. This is saothe sweetest anime in my list, it is also the least gory…in fact I can’t think of any gore off the top of my head! Our protagonist this time is a young man called Kirito, who is one of the beta testers for a new type of RPG called Sword Art Online, but it is not an ordinary RPG, this is a VRMMORPG(Virtual Reality Massively Mulitiplayer Online Role Playing Game(mouthful again!)) and uses a “nerve gear” to work. Unfortunately something goes ‘wrong’ on the official release date, it turns out the creator of SAO and nerve gear had other ideas for his new game and traps all the players within the SAO virtual world. The story follows the adventures of Kirito in this virtual world where he learns lessons he never would have in the real world, especially not at his age. It’s really sweet, it’s funny and pretty light hearted watching but no less enjoyable than the others (unless you have a blood lust, in that case, give this one a miss? I promise there’s great fight scenes).

What I’ve forgotten to mention is the anime on my list were all manga series before they made their TV debuts so feel free to catch up on the manga versions, I’m trying to build up my manga collection from all of these! It’s worth mentioning that the art for anime is beautiful, the colours are always vivid and the detailing can be mind blowing, even more so in the manga. For example, the art style of Knights of Sidonia is incredible, you really get a feel for the post apocalyptic existence, the Gardes look top spec, the suits the characters wear are equipped for everything and Sidonia looks battle worn in places. No detail is spared! The only time you’ll have limited detailing in anime is when the story is focusing on a certain character or when they use chibi to emphasise particularly funny or silly scenes.

Now of course these are not the only great anime series on Netflix, I’ve not even watched all on my list! These are just a few of my favourites that I think people should give a go if you’re not sure about anime or just because they’re great shows. If you didn’t like any of these (or even if you did) there’s still plenty more like Kill La Kill which is a really over the top anime or Black Butler which is set in Victorian England or Death Note but I’m sure you’ve heard about that one already! I’m currently watching Fairy Tail, a funny anime about magic in a place called Fiore, it’s reminiscent of SAO but without the whole ‘trapped in a game’ situation.fairytail-224-anime-online-2014

P.S I have time to kill so feel free to recommend anime to me! I will watch anything! I even enjoyed Love Hina which is one hell of a soppy anime but sadly not on netflix but I do recommend it.

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P.S.S I am aware of the feminist issues surrounding a lot of anime, such as the over sexualisation of female characters but that’s a whole other post and the ones I’ve listed have powerful female characters. I bet if I watched Love Hina now it’d annoy my feminist self, it’s been 12 years since I last saw it and a lot has changed since I was 14!

P.S.S.S THE MUSIC IS AWESOME:

Psycho Pass: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-4SVb8ZoIU

Attack on Titan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfuZqGvruug

Knights of Sidonia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mZKO2ol9Zs

Snickers Ice Cream Bars and Bites (vegan, raw)

Meatless Mondays is here again! Another week and another recipe! Just to show that eating vegetarian or vegan isn’t just about eating dinners, it’s about dessert too. You’d be surprised what animal derivatives end up in your shop bought desserts, but here is a delicious recipe for a home made tasty treat! I can’t wait to make mine! Check out more of this wonderful woman’s tasty recipes, there’s also vegan ice cream!!

Feeding Your Beauty

vegan snickers ice cream bites

Happy Friday!! I am so excited to share these awesome little bites of Snickers goodness with you, my friends! I mean, FROZEN… SNICKERS… BITES….

Frozen Snickers vegan

YAAAAAASSSSSSSSS!!!!!

vegan raw snickers ice cream bites

Deep breaths… don’t freak out. Hold it together. Never mind me, sometimes I have to talk myself down just so I can focus on typing coherent, logical, sentences. Maybe I’ve had a bit too much chocolate.

HAHAHA… Nahhhhh.

raw snickers ice cream

Three ingredient raw chocolate encapsulates gooey homemade date caramel, peanuts, and a cool, frozen, (n)ice cream center. These cold candy bar bites are easy to put together. I can attest to this fact as I have made them three times now. Oh yes, I’ve made and eaten a lot of Snickers bites this week.

I don’t hate it.

These sweet babies are:

  • refined sugar-free
  • dairy-free
  • vegan
  • gluten-free
  • made with whole-food ingredients
  • and can be made completely raw

You do not need any special equipment to make these…

View original post 684 more words

Vitiligo

Some of you might know that I’m rather pale, but what you don’t know is that I suffer from a condition called vitiligo.

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Vitiligo is an autoimmune condition caused by a lack of skin pigment called melanin. It normally presents itself as small white patches on the skin and can affect anyone at any time in their life. Saying this, only 1% of the world’s population suffer from it and is thought to be genetic.

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Although it is thought to be an auto-immune disorder, it is not contagious. Auto immune illnesses are when your immune system will turn on itself, treating perfectly healthy cells as viruses and destroying them. In the case of vitiligo your immune system starts to attack the pigment cells, causing white/pinkish patches to appear on your skin. The pigment cells are called melanocytes, which creates the melanin in your skin. Melanin is used to protect the skin from the sun, so those without these cells are susceptible to sun burn and therefore some types of skin cancers if overly exposed.

As previously stated, it can happen at any time in a person’s life although studies have revealed it is more likely to affect adults and can be triggered by stress or other skin conditions or thyroid problems. Much is unknown about this condition and there are many different correlations to other problems or illnesses but no definite consistencies.

There are even different types of vitiligo:

  • Non-segmental – Also known as bilateral or generalised, it often appears on both sides of the body symmetrically. This is the most common type of vitiligo and is often seen on hands, feet, around joints such elbows and knees and around the eyes or mouth.
  • Segmental – Only some areas of the body are affected with no pattern, it is mostly common in children.
  • Universal/complete – The whole body is affected, with no or little pigment left. This is the rarest type of vitiligo.

I have the universal type of vitiligo, all of my body is affected and some of my hair resulting in patches of white hair. It is not uncommon to see white patches of hair in those with segmental or universal vitiligo.

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One famous vitiligan was Michael Jackson, although many did not believe it until his autopsy confirmed it, and it appears that his son may also have the condition. Another is the beautiful model Winnie Harlow who is a wonderful advocate for vitiligo awareness.

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Like many other vitiligans, I had to overcome a lot of bullying to get where I am today, in complete acceptance of my condition, I don’t let it hold me back, instead I whack on that factor 50, blind the public with my pale limbs and carry on my everyday life! Unfortunately this is not the case for many child sufferers who will sadly face discrimination due to misunderstanding of their condition. Hopefully by raising awareness we can put a stop to this sort of bullying.

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There are various different ways a sufferer of vitiligo can treat their condition:

  • Always make sure you wear sunscreen/block, I’d advise factor 50+ for the pale patches or at least factor 30+.
  • If you don’t like your vitiligo or it is somewhere very visible such as your face, there are various makeups and treatments to help ‘cover’ it and I’ve even heard claims of reversing it. This one on vegan eating reversing it is new to me!
  • I know some people who get tattoos on their affected skin, not only does it make the perfect canvas, it can help you start to love that area of your body by associating it with something good. Or just make a statement like this woman. Excuse the mail article…
  • Worst comes to worst you can always just stop caring about society and be yourself, patches and all!

Now you you are:

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Here are some more links for further information on vitiligo:

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Vitiligo/Pages/Introduction.aspx

Uk: http://www.vitiligosociety.org.uk/  America: http://www.avrf.org/

http://www.britishskinfoundation.org.uk/SkinInformation/AtoZofSkindisease/Vitiligo.aspx

P.s I do not own any of these pictures, if you find one containing yourself, message me immediately to discuss/take down.

Meatless Mondays – Meat substitutes

This week I thought it was time to discuss the meat alternatives out there as it is quite the hot topic to non-vegetarians/vegans.  To address the issue head on, why do we eat something that tastes and looks like meat when we can just eat meat? The answer is simple, so we can enjoy the flavour without any blood on our hands, if we can do that there is really no need to eat meat. Yes I’m aware that it cannot replace a steak or some fried chicken but those things aren’t any good for you anyway, most doctors and dieticians recommend avoiding those foods. We all know red meats are on the red list!

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With meat alternatives you can eat classic meals and recipes without changing the recipe too dramatically. Spaghetti Bolognese, Shepherd’s pie, and chilli con carne can all just use a meat free mince such as Quorn’s meat free mince, or even Tesco’s own version. The only other thing you need to be wary of is using meat based stocks; if you use stock in your cooking just replace it for the vegetable variety, ensuring that it is suitable for vegetarians of course. Surprising there are quite a few ‘beef’ flavoured stocks or gravy granules that are vegetarian friendly that can help lend a meaty taste to these dishes. Bisto is one such gravy!

If you love fajitas but don’t want to lose the chicken bulk, Quorn chicken fillets or chicken pieces do the job just as well, the soak up the flavour so much better than meat, and wrapped in those tortillas you can barely notice the difference. These can also be used in pasta dishes, curries, and any of meals where you would normally add chicken.

Quorn and other substitutes also make these household favourites healthier too, if you are worried about lowering cholesterol or fat intake try some of these in your meals instead, you’ll feel better for it if nothing else!

What is even better about meat substitutes, they can be cooked from frozen! No furious rows about who forgot to take the chicken/mince/turkey out of the freezer to defrost! There is less wastage and to top it all, it is much cheaper than meat! Next time you are in your local supermarket just have a glance at the difference in price, even if only once a week you swap your sausages/mince/chicken for meat free alternatives, you could be saving £20 minimum a week! It probably costs me £10 a month for meat alternatives, and they normally get carried over into the next month’s meals as I use a lot of vegetables in my cooking instead of just meat replacements.

Now to look at the other side of it, as many great alternatives there are, there are certainly some less successful replacements. We can’t expect perfect alternatives or the exact same textures but some get this spot on, like Linda McCartney Mozzarella burgers but there are some which get it so wrong. I don’t often like being negative about products but Quorn Peppered steaks leave a lot to be desired! Perhaps I just tried a bad batch but they tasted like the meat flavour was replaced by pepper, which would be great if it wasn’t overdone and combined with the very strange chewy Luckily I’ve never been a steak fan; I mostly bought these for my partner who rarely eats meat now. If you are expecting an exact replacement, look elsewhere, as previously mentioned you are better off with those Mozzarella burgers! This is my one bad experience so for first timers, I do not recommend it until you have tried some of the brands that have got it right.IDShot_540x540 (1)Time for the (many) positives!

I have had nothing but a great experience with Linda McCartney products, although I’ve not tried much due to supermarket supply. Yes I’m going to bang on about those delicious mozzarella burgers again! They are the perfect burger texture but minus all the horrible grease and can replace a meat burger in any dish! I love mine with salad, gherkins and sweet potato fries! The sausages are equally great, combine with some onion gravy for a mouth-watering meal.1911913_1

Tesco’s have a great range of meat free products, their nut cutlets I can particularly recommend; they are great with a roast or just mash and gravy. For those hangover days they go brilliantly with chips and beans too! Don’t be fooled by the high fat content, they are made from nuts after all, but this is all good fats! As always take into account a healthy lifestyle and blah blah.IDShot_540x540Quorn is probably the most well-known meat substitute in the UK, as I am UK based it is the one I am most familiar with too. Quorn do a great range of meat free products, ignoring those strange tasting peppered steaks, including Quorn savoury eggs! Or the southern fried chicken bites, which go great in sweet and sour/kung pao sauce. Quorn probably has the biggest range of replacements and even include recipes for their products, which is always helpful for the meatless beginner. If you aren’t a culinary whiz, Quorn include ready meals and other convenient foods too, so fear not!

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Sadly most of these meat replacements are not vegan but I have heard of many great brands that are, see here for a list of vegan substitutes.

I can’t wait to try more products, especially vegan, when I can get my hands on them. At the moment Holland and Barretts is the only place I can get products such as vegan chorizo but it is definitely next on my list.

Now time for some tasty Quorn sausages for dinner!

Meow.

The C bomb

No not cancer, yes the other one! The “see you next tuesday”, the so called most offensive word, can anyone tell me why it’s so offensive? You all know what it means right?

cuntNow I’m going to say it…go ahead and turn back now if you can’t handle seeing that four letter word which has an awful reputation for no reason.

Cunt means the entirety of the female sexual organ, it’s not just the outside, it’s not just the inside, it is everything. From the taboo clitoris to those complicated fallopian tubes(if you have them of course). EVERYTHING! Get it? Now tell me why it’s such an offensive word? What is wrong with being called one of the most complex parts of the human body? That area is a bloody tough mudder! It can take a beating in life and still do its job effectively! Babies get pushed out of those things, it takes all the roughness (or sweetness) of sex in any form, it can adapt to do exactly what it needs to do and when, it even cleans itself! If someone called you a gnathion you wouldn’t be offended, and that’s a word I learnt the meaning of today. A lack of knowledge doesn’t give you an excuse to be offended.

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Still not convinced? Okay well want to know the real reason it is seen as offensive: patriarchy. We can trace it back hundreds and thousands of years, the female sexuality being repressed to the point that the mere mention of the sacred sheath(this is actually what vagina means) is enough to send a shiver down those patriarchal spines. As if the male mind cannot contemplate the whole downstairs of their feminine counter parts, they can only discuss it in sections; the womb, ovaries, vagina, labia, like a shopping list yet they fight so hard to control it. That is a whole other argument though.

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Oh did you just figure out this is a feminist post? Apologies to those who cannot handle this much biology. It’s downright ridiculous that such a small, and quite delectable word has become so scandalous. Say it out loud right now (if you can of course, I don’t recommend this in libraries, people are probably studying and you might distract them), how nice does it sound? It uses the back of the mouth as well as the front, it is quite the mouthful!

Even Mr C.K agrees!

Although ignore his part about not calling a cunt a cunt!

Now I’m not saying there isn’t an offensive word for the male region, we’ve all been called a ‘dickhead’ at some point or another, and to be honest, it’s a bit of an insult. To be the head of a dick, would that be Richards head or the penis head? Either way I prefer my own, with my skull, such a soft head wouldn’t do so well at work. Note that ‘dickhead’ is no where near as offensive as cunt is made out to be, if anything it’s a comical word, especially when pronounced ‘dik-ed’ which if you’re from certain areas in london (represent) you will indeed pronounce it that way.

Yet fear not, the feminist movement is beginning to reclaim this word, finally we can try to dissipate some of the negativity surrounding this perfectly innocent word.

Did you know the the word cunt actually comes from the same word that ‘queen’ does? Quna, pronounced Kuna. This lady has it all right too, showing that it isn’t just me who is obsessed with this great word. Or how about this article that discusses the delightful word becoming accepted in pop culture, who knew that one day singing the ‘c word’ wouldn’t be so bad? Or as the author argues, are many people still outraged at the mere mention?

I don’t bat an eyelid when I hear the word cunt, I don’t like being called it as a derogatory word, because it couldn’t be any further from that, but I don’t like the word being used negatively. When I see a woman cringe away from the word I feel genuinely disappointed, like a woman has to feel disgust or separation from the ONLY word that is truly hers. Embrace the word ladies. Call your lady face one of the words that is her all over, call her a cunt! She is one hell of a cunt, and you should be proud! Whether you were born with her, or you fought for your right for her, she is a cunt and that is a good thing. Reclaim your cunt!

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Meatless Tuesday (mondays a day late) : Chickpea and Cauliflower Curry

As promised, here is the meatless monday recipe I mentioned yesterday, as far as I’ve seen it is very similar to others out there but this is just my (partners) method. This is yet another vegan friendly recipe!

I use a curry paste as it is quicker but you can make your own too, here is a madras recipe which is similar to the paste I’m using today.

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Ingredients:

  • Med-large cauliflower
  • One tin of chickpeas or 400g of cooked chickpeas.
  • 3 large handfuls of spinach
  • One tin chopped tomatoes
  • 2 cloves of garlic
  • 2 large onions
  • 1 red pepper
  • Coconut milk (tinned or carton)
  • Cumin*
  • Paprika*
  • Cayenne pepper*
  • Mustard seeds*
  • Turmeric*
  • Handful of coriander
  • Vegetable oil or coconut oil
  • Curry paste – Madras preferably but choose whatever your prefer (About 3 tablespoons)

*Two teaspoons worth

Step one: Heat two tablespoons of vegetable oil or coconut oil in a pan with the cumin and mustard seeds for about 20-30 seconds.

Step two: Dice the onions and add to the pan, fry until transparent then add the rest of the spices and chopped red pepper (while this is cooking cut the cauliflower apart in to evenly sized pieces). Cook until the pepper is soft and the onion has browned. Once done pour the mix into a separate bowl for later.

Step three: Add a little more oil to the pan and add the curry paste, heat for 30 seconds to a minute before adding half the onion/pepper mixture and the chopped cauliflower. Cook down for two minutes before adding the rest of the onion/pepper mix and ensure the cauliflower is completely covered (in the sauce and onions/peppers). Cook down for another 5 minutes.

Step four: Crush and mince the cloves of garlic, stirring into the pan before adding the chickpeas, chopped tomatoes and coconut milk. Add as much or as little coconut milk as you’d like, it’s really about how creamy you want your curry to be (we use about 1/2 to 2/3rds of a tin). You can always add more before serving.

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Step five: Add half a cup of water and leave to simmer for 30 minutes to one hour. The longer you leave it the better the curry will taste and the thicker it will be.

Step six: 5 minutes before serving add the handfuls of spinach so these can cook down slightly but not disappear into nothing. Stir some chopped coriander in just before serving. It is important to not add the coriander before this point so it doesn’t turn brown and gross.

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Now serve! You can have this with whatever you’d like, naan, rice, poppadoms etc. I enjoy mine with brown rice, a side of mango chutney and the raita I mentioned on the falafel recipe.

As mentioned before the raita is not vegan but can be made with soya yogurt of course, just make sure you choose plain, not flavoured.

P.s you will probably have left overs and this tastes even better the next day!

Enjoy!

Meow!

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